So, you are a little nostalgic for EIU news, eh? Well, check out what happened to our great alums back in 2002.





12/21/02
'Stoked' to be in the EIU Hall of Fame
Adult film star Calli Cox.truly did go to EIU and she's excited to be in the Hall of Fame.

"I'm stoked that you guys want to induct me!" Calli said via e-mail. "That's super cool. I did go to EIU, I was a Tri Sig there. I also worked at Maurices in Charleston and at Stix."

12/20/02
Porn Star A Graduate of EIU
Everyone, meet Calli Cox.

Calli's a 1999 graduate of EIU who majored in elementary education. She's a member of Sigma Sigma Sigma sorority. For awhile, she taught eighth graders how to read. And she's also the first bona fide adult film star ever to graduate from EIU.

One night on a dare she left Eastern and drove to an amatuer strip competition in East St. Louis. Then she went back, experimented with women and later dumped that dopey school gig and got into stripping. From there, she's become one of porn most cherubic and addictive porn stars.

All thanks to Eastern Illinois University.

Needless to say Calli has been immediately inducted into the EIU Hall of Fame. Don't worry, there is no nudity on the Web site (though we do show a close-up of a tattoo on her butt). The Hall of Fame staff is also working on an interview with the adult film star, who has already contacted the Web site confirming she is truly an EIU grad.

Thanks to her work in the adult business, we already know she really is a Tri-Sig: she has her sorority's letters tattooed on her butt!

12/19/02
What Swear Word is EIU?

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Larry knows this has nothing to do specifically with Eastern Illinois University, but the Curator of the EIU Hall of Fame took this quiz and is an asshole (in EIU's blue and white colors no less).

It's my opinion, folks, that anyone affiliated with EIU should find out what swear word they are.

12/18/02
Sex Assault Trials Running Over Campus
Anyone who has followed Eastern over the years knows the schools’ sexual assault policies have been a joke. Most sexual assaults – particularly edgy date-rape cases – get funneled to the campus’ judicial board where offenders are put the collegiate equivalent of in-school suspension.

So what’s happening now? Coles County has suddenly taken on a henke sexual assault case involving two students and a team basketball manager.

The Daily Eastern News has done some basic reporting, but has something changed in Coles County and EIU where they are actually treating students like adults? Stay tuned to see if there is more reporting on these cases. Donde esta el police report?

12/18/02
Shanahan’s Team Fighting for Playoff Spot
Denver Bronco’s Coach Mike Shanahan has a do-or-die win against his old nemesis: Al David and the Oakland Raiders. After a great start, the Broncos are 8-6 and may not make the playoffs if they don’t beat the Raiders, who lead the AFC West with a 9-5 record (the Broncos are tied for second with San Diego).

As always, people are getting pissy with our only decent EIU alum. Some newspaper columnists are claiming that Shanahan is panicking by benching and insulting good players. Our hero, meanwhile, is promising things will be different than the first time the Bronco’s lost 34-10 to the Raiders.

Maybe Shanny’s EIU roots are finally catching up with him?

12/15/02
Pin What on Burl?
The Boston Globe reported last week on a certain wacky party game: Pin the Tail on Burl Ives! Usually during Christmas you hear about Burl's narration of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and his song Holly Jolly Christmas. What the heck is going on? Pin the Tail on Burl was tossed in as a reference to wacky Christmas parties events including Jello Shots and a human petting zoo.

Considering Burl's collegiate past as a partier, he may actually like this.

12/15/02
Jurko in the Broadcast Booth
John Jurkovic is finding a spot in the FOX broadcast booth on Sundays. Jurko has been doing a handful of FOX broadcasts for the National Football League. This week, for example, he'll be calling the Minnesota-New Orleans game and teaming up with the ever-charismatic, non EIU-grad Ron Pitts.

12/10/02
Alum Gives Really Nice Farm
Maybe we should induct Identa Moler Austin into the EIU Hall of Fame. The 89-year-old 1934 alumnus (any odds on whether she's surfed the Internet and checked out the Hall of Fame?) donated a 78-acre farm on the outskirts of Charleston, according to The Daily Eastern News.

From the sound of the article, The Foundation will probably sell the land. But they will thank Moler Austin in a ceremony Dec. 3.

Now that's a cool alum!

11/24/02
Bogar Retires! EIU Without A Pro Baseball Player.
He went with a whimper. Tim Bogar, Eastern Illinois University's last known active major league baseball player, retired on April 28, according to several news sources. Bogar had been shipped to the Dodgers but played most of his nine years in the major leagues with the Mets and Astros.

Bogar was part of an EIU renaissance in Major League Baseball, joining EIU Hall of Fame inductee Kevin Seitzer as one of TWO whole Eastern students in the majors. Now we have nothing.

From the looks of it, we had better get used to it staying that way.

Bogar was a middle infielder who hit .228 with 24 homers in 701 big-league games - appropriate stats for anyone who came in contact with Eastern.

But no matter what you hit, Tim, we were proud of you. While in the big leagues Bogar made as much as $850,000, helped children of divorced parents and raised money for cancer research, according to the Bloomington Pantagraph.

Bogar now lives in Normal and wants to get involved with coaching, the Pantagraph stated.

11/24/02
What? No Alumni Pride?
There's not much crackalatin' in the EIU alumni department for the next month. There are receptions in Chicago and Milwaukee in the next couple days. If anyone's in the Springfield area, the alumni reception is from 5 to 7 p.m. on Dec. 10 at the fine establishment known as D.H. Brown's on Monroe St.

11/24/02
Panther Pride Online
Ron The GMan, one of our favorite EIU alums online, has put up a new section of his Web site paying tribute to all the changes at Eastern's campus since he's been around. Check it out here.

11/21/02
Eastern Student A Finalist for MTV's 'Real World' Paris
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. An Eastern student is a finalist for a future edition of the Real World in Paris, according to an article in The Daily Eastern News. Bud Wierenga (right), clearly not the brightest bulb in the bunch, is one of 100 finalist who could be picked to live in a house with a group of strangers and have their every move taped to see what happens.

Is it me, or does the concept of an Eastern student taking part in a saccharine reality show strike you as an idea that is a long time in coming?

Wierenga, a junior English major, had to write a 17-page essay for the Real World - probably the longest paper he's written in his college career - and is now waiting to hear back from MTV. Wierenga decided to try out for "Real World" because "life just gets too ordinary," according to The News.

No word on whether he speaks French.

"I'm just going to stop thinking about it," Wierenga appropriately told The News.

11/20/02
Pikes on the Ropes
The EIU chapter of Pi Kappa Alpha has been temporarily removed from campus because "struggled with a lack of leadership and several incidents have given the group a negative image on campus and in the community," according to an article in The Daily Eastern News.

Of course, there's no reference to what this negative incidents are in the article. Wonder what they could be?

On an interesting note, the article notes Charleston Mayor Dan Cougill is a Pike, which is funny considering he raised the bar-entry age in the late 1990s.

11/12/02
Back to Earth for EIU NFL Stars
The EIU curse catches up to you sooner or later. Denver Bronco's Coach Mike Shanahan was brought back to earth by his most-hated rival, the Oakland Raiders, when the Raiders punked the Bronco's 34-10 on Monday Night Football. Denver still has the best record (6-3) in the AFC, but this loss hurt because Raiders owner Al Davis fired Shanahan and withheld thousands of dollars from him.

Not much is going right for Sean Payton, either. The EIU grad, arena football legend and offensive coach for the New York Giants had his duties taken from him by Head Coach Jim Fassel before this week's game. The reason: The Giants inept offense, which makes Payton inept (or a graduate of EIU).

11/12/02
Alumnus Good at Selling Stuff
Larry's not too sure how big of a deal this is, but a 1977 EIU graduate has been called one of "25 Leaders to Watch in the Sports Industry," according to Sports Edge magazine.

Julie Nimmons, president and CEO of Schutt Sports in Litchfield, Illinois, was named one of the top sports industry leaders in the magazine's October/November issue. Rumor has it Nimmons, who sits on the EIU Board of Trustees, was an education major.

One question: What the heck is Sports Edge magazine?

11/11/02
Think Like a Discounted Author
Because I, Larry Smith, don't have much to do at CNN sports anymore, for a few giggles I looked up the current price on Mike Shanahan's blockbuster book, Think Like a Champion: Building Success One Victory at a Time.

Amazon doesn't carry new copies, but you can still get used ones for a whopping 47 cents, according to Amazon.com.

Dear God. Have we fallen this far?

But do you know what's funnier? Shanny's book is still eight cents more than Joan Embery's sacred tome The Good Dog Book costs on Amazon. Though, in fairness, Joan's other books on wild animals, horses and amazing animal facts cost $3 or more.

11/9/02
Make the Basketball Tour
The Alumni Association is hoping the big-name recognition of Henry Domercant will draw out some alumni. They are again planning get-togethers based around the Panther's hoops schedule. Here's where you can hook up with old EIU'ers of old.

Nov. 24: EIU Men's Basketball vs. UIC, Chicago, IL Basketball game and pre-game party. 12:30 - 2:30 pre-game party at Moretti's Restaurant and Bar, 1645 W. Jackson, Chicago, IL. $10 at the door for pizza and beverages.

Nov. 26: EIU Men's Basketball vs. Marquette, Milwaukee, WI Basketball game and pre-game party. 6-8 p.m. pre-game party at Buck Bradley's, 1019 N. Old World Third Street in Milwaukee.

December 7: EIU Men's Basketball vs. Indiana State, Terre Haute, IN Basketball game and post-game party.

11/9/02
Now Eastern Has Everything
Remember when it was just IGA and the Sirloin Stockade? Now Eastern has all the best restaurants.

11/9/02
One President Likes Us
The EIU Hall of Fame has a new fan - Eastern's student body president! "Hi there! I recently discovered your site from a friend and fellow student of mine. Let me just say it is amazing and really hysterical," praises Alison Mormino (left), Eastern's current student government president.

Alison, a resident of the Alton-area, was intrigued by a statement on the Hall of Fame Web site that claims, "Our smartest alum runs a tool-and-die shop down in Wood River." "I hail from Alton myself and am interested in any alums from the area," she said. "Thanks and keep up the good work!"

Thanks Alison. We will. And know that the Hall of Fame staff, judging from the student government photos, thinks you have the best head on her shoulders. After all, does Ronnie Deedrick's picture (right) really scream, "Vice President for Academic Affairs?"

11/4/02
What Would he Produce? Patchy Corduroy Jackets?
Fansite Malkovichonline.com claims that John Malkovich is planning to start his own clothing line.

What? How does an increasingly aging guy who hates most everyone make a fashion statement?

According to the fan site, the clothes will include "classic with tones of late fifties-early sixties California." Yeah, that will sell.

11/1/02
Eastern Stinks in Video Games, Too!
This will be lost on anyone who has never played a video game. But I've been playing a lot of NFL Fever 2003 on the Xbox. When I draft my team I, like any good Eastern alum, make sure former Panthers Ray McElroy and Chris Watson are on my team.

But I've found out that, no matter how good you are, both of these guys stink and will be considered players "in decline" as your video game season goes on.

10/29/02
The Next Burl Ives?
A 26-year-old Eastern graduate has captured that EIU-style fleeting spoonful-of-sugar taste of fame many alumni get before crashing into oblivion. Charlotte Martin (right), a 1998 vocal performance graduate, sang "Bring on the Day" for the new movie "Sweet Home Alabama."

Along with singing the song, Martin also worked with someone who actually worked with real famous people, Martin said in an Oct. 29 article in The Daily Eastern News.

"My education at Eastern has helped me learn to deal with people," Martin said, not yet realizing that her contact with Eastern has poisoned any chance at future fame.

Martin claims there is a debut album coming on the RCA label, which means she could be performing at a Parents' Weekend concert in, say, three years?

10/26/02
Joan Allen Reads My Antonia - Snore!
Definetly not a day for the faint of heart, Joan Allen was in Chicago reading excerpts from My Antonia, the book we all didn't read in high school, on Oct. 14 at the Chicago Public Library's Harold Washington Library Center.

10/26/02
Duckworth Mocked on NPR
Our only NBA superhero Kevin Duckworth was mocked, in of all places, sissy NPR! In a radio spot about the art of the fish story back on Aug. 30, some fisherman took a swipe at Duck (who, by the way, loves to fish).

One man says, "This fish was so big that when it came up to the side of the boat, I could see the darkness of the Earth in the mouth of this halibut."

Then another chimes in. "We didn't have the scale, so we used the formula that they give you on width and size. And we felt that it was the width and size of the Portland center for the Trail Blazers, Kevin Duckworth."

Ouch.

10/26/02
All Eyes on C.
Anyone watching the Bills-Lions game on Sunday should keep an eye out for Chris Watson, an Eastern graduate who (while not worthy of the Hall of Fame) has somehow become more than the one-year-and-out NFL wannabe Eastern is used to producing. Watson gets his second start as a Bills cornerback. Here's what the Sporting News says about him: "Watson isn't as good in tight man coverage and lacks Winfield's ball skills and recovery speed. But Watson brings more size to the position and is physical enough to throw receivers off routes."

That's the kind of backhanded compliments we love here at the Hall of Fame!

10/20/02
Malkovich Shows His Deep Side.
John Malkovich shows that he's just not an actor in a recent interview in Time Magazine's European edition. In the interview, he says he's frightened by the ugliness around us all.

"I mean intellectual corruption, religious teachings, and more than anything else poverty of the spirit," Malko says. "Just the idea that things were always crap, they will always be crap, so I might as well go shopping."

Alas, not a single mention of Eastern Illinois University.

10/20/02
EIU Across the Nation
Eastern's Alumni Association is taking its show on the road again, traveling to all kinds of cities in search of employed and famous alumni. Here is some of the latest activities for alums:

Oct. 28: New York City Alumni Reception.

Oct. 30: Houston Alumni Reception.

Nov. 1: Dallas Alumni Reception.

Nov. 24: Basketball game and post-game party for EIU v UIC in Chicago.

10/18/02
Foundation Meeting to Spend Our Money.
The EIU Foundation holds kicks off its annual weekend celebration today at the Neal Welcome Center (whatever that is) on campus. There will be a host of parties, but, alas the EIU Hall of Fame is not on the agenda. But there will be presentations about the state of the foundation's investments, according to a report in The Daily Eastern News.

10/16/02
Edgar Visits Campus.
Former Gov. Jim Edgar was back on campus stumping for local Republicans (right). The Charleston native was a big fan of another Charleston native, state representative candidate Chapin Rose, according to the Oct. 4 edition of The Daily Eastern News.

"It's always fun to come home," Edgar, the Eastern grad who sent his kids to other schools, blew off a chance to be EIU's president and now works for the University of Illinois, told The News.

10/12/02
Shanahan Among the Best - Again!
Mike Shanahan continues the paradox of being successful in a high profile career yet proud of his roots at Eastern Illinois University. The head coach of the NFL's Denver Bronocos has led his team to a 4-1 record, good for second place in the AFC West. The Broncos do everything pretty well, according to a report in the Associated Pres. "They are as complete a team as there is in the league," Baltimore coach Brian Billick told the AP. "Their defense matches up very well with their offense. It's a good, balanced package that way."

10/12/02
Malkovich Guys
John Malkovich co-stars in The Knockaround Guys, the story of some punk mobsters kids struggling for respect. Malko plays Teddy Deserve, the uncle of one of the mobster kids who sets them up with a job to do. It doesn't go well.

Malkovich plays a central role, but it may not be our hero's best work. Here's a snippet from a review at Hollywood.com: "Given his character's pivotal role, Malkovich should dominate the scenes he's in, and he does. Trouble is, his Brooklyn accent has serious issues and it distracts the audience from both his performance and the story itself."

10/11/02
Anti-Eastern
This article goes against every tradition has ever stood for.




7/21/02
Fore!
Can anyone tell Larry why the heck Eastern ILLINOIS University's alumni board of director's meeting is being held in St. Louis? That meeting is among what the EIU Alumni Association is offering to alums in the coming months:

July 19: Panther Club Golf Outing at Edgewood Golf Course in Auburn, Illinois.

July 25: Panther Club Golf Outing at Quail Creek Country Club in Robinson.

July 27: EIU Alumni Association Board of Directors Quarterly Meeting in St. Louis.

August 10: Chicago White Sox vs Seattle Mariners in Chicago.

August 28-Sept. 5: EIU Alumni Association Alumni College Trip to Cortona, Italy.

October 11-12: Homecoming 2002.

October 11: Class of 1952, 50th Class Reunion. On campus.

7/7/02
Joan Teaches Reading.
Joan is speaking out to give poor kids something many Eastern grads never had: the ability to read. The almost-Acadamey-Award-winning actress has volunteered to be part of the First Book National Book Bank Campaign to Encourage Summer Reading, according to The Chattanooga Times.

"I spend a lot of time reading to my 8-year-old daughter Sadie. It's a special time for us," Allen told the paper. "I feel that books should be available for every parent to be able to share reading time with their children, and this program promotes that."

Look for Allen's face to be alongside non-EIUers Kelly Ripa and Julie Andrews this summer in public service announcements for the group.

7/7/02
Jurko An Author.
Everyone's favorite mediocre lineman, John Jukorvic, has expanded his job as a sports radio broadcaster to included column writing. The Eastern grad and self-proclaimed "sports lunatic" writes a sports column on the ESPN AM 1000 Web site. Here's Jurko's World Cup take in June:

Well, I saw the United States play South Korea this morning to a 1-1 draw. The game started at 1:30am and finished around 3:30am. No matter how hard I tried to stay awake, I kept snoozing off. I would catch fifteen minutes, snooze fifteen minutes, catch fifteen and then go back and snooze. I missed both goals that were scored and I was exhausted when I woke up.

Other Jurko takes:

What the hell in a dog's ass is wrong with #29 Kevin Harvick?

And a final note, the Cubs have to trade Sammy if they want to win the World Series. Catch me next week and I'll give you the details. (That was written in June. There hasn't been a new column in five weeks).

Maybe The Daily Eastern News needs a guest columnist?


7/7/02
More Worko for Jurko.
It seems John Jurkovic's job at Chicago's ESPN sports radio station AM 1000 may not be enough. The former Jacksonville Jaguars lineman and Eastern grad could soon be doing television commentary for Jaguars preseason football games, according to the Florida Times-Union. Local television personality Sam Kouvaris (seen on the right with Jurko) and former footballer Jeff Lageman were the television duo, but Lageman is bucking for another TV job with the Jets.

6/23/02
They Call That a Hall of Fame?
A bench player for the Chicago Bears leads the list of nine new inductees to that other Hall of Fame - the EIU Athletic Department Hall of Fame. Who the heck are these people?

Their names are Toni Ababio, Roy Banks, Rick Livesey, Jim Maton, Ray McElroy, Robin Smith Daugherty, Mary Tiegs-Hoyer and Midge Seaman Wallace. What did they do? You have a couple of softball stars, a smattering of track stars and a swimmer or two. The only ones who did anything after college are Banks and McElroy. Both were in the NFL, where they played for the Indianapolis Colts, which explains why the Colts will never win another Super Bowl.

6/23/02
Pardon Our Dust
The EIU Hall of Fame is getting a face lift folks. We hope you'll pardon our dust as we update and rearrange almost every page here at the online shrine for famous folks who went to Eastern. As you can see, my news department has shifted some links around and has created online archives from the past few years. You'll also see a little bit more news here, too. Since I do as much as I used to at CNN, I will get to update this section of the Hall of Fame weekly. It will be a public Web log to reveal the real news about Eastern!

6/14/02
Scooby Doo Has Eastern Ties!
Watch out Triumph! The new "Scooby Doo" movie has links to EIU. It turns out 1989 Eastern graduate Craig Titley pitched the Scooby Doo movie script way back in 1997. Today's movie is based in part on that script, according to an article in the Charleston Times-Courier.

This guy may soon be famous enough to join the EIU Hall of Fame!

6/18/02
Celebrity? Vote Me Off! I, Larry Smith, continue to give back to the greater Charleston-Mattoon area. On June 13 and 14, I brought some "celebrities" to town for a golf tournament and to raise money for scholarship I hand out to graduating Charleston and Matoon high school students, according to a recent article in The Daily Eastern News
.

According to The News, the stars included 1996 Olympian Jennifer Horton, former NBA All-Star Maurice Lucas, Barney Martin (who played Morty Seinfeld), Indianapolis 500 Champ Tom Sneva and Joel Klug, an original member of the television series Survivor, who was the sixth member of the cast voted off the island.

"Back in the spring of 1998, a higher power just said to do it and obviously by the success we have had that higher power obviously knows what he is doing," I told The News. "That is why we do it and it has been a great event. We've got a good future."

6/14/02
Panther Becomes a Lion. One Eastern player is trying his best to impress the worst team in the NBA. Now another has caught on with the worst team in the NFL. Former Panther defensive back Kourtney Young signed a three-year with the Detroit Lions.

He still could be cut. NFL mini-camps only started recently.

6/14/02
What the heck is going on at EIU? The EIU (Unofficial) Hall of Fame usually doesn't comment about the interal happenings at Eastern Illinois University, but what the heck is happening over at Old Main?

Never mind the Eastern student on trial for murder and a recent spate of sexual assault charges. The Board of Trustees just announced Eastern will have an interim president for another TWO years!

Can't we find anyone who wants to move out to the middle of Illinois and run a small underachieving university? What does it say about the current president that the board doesn't want to give him the job outright?

Unless there's some secret deal brewing with Jim Edgar, this can't bode well for our beloved campus.

6/1/02
I'm Alive! I'm Alive! CNN/SI may have gone the way of Eastern's academic reputation, but I am proud to say that I, Larry Smith, am still alive and kicking at CNN. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution had reported that CNN-SI is going out of business and many of the 200 staff members are going to die along with it.

But I have surviced. I've been doing the show CNN Today, pimping the World Cup and hanging on to my studly CNN credentials with every ounce of my being.

Stay tuned to see if I get canned.

6/1/02
Eastern Player Tries Out for Bulls. What better place for an Eastern basketball player than the worst team in the NBA? Panther hoops standout Henry Domercant worked out for the Bulls coaching staff to try and win an invite to the Chicago pre-draft camp, according to The Charleston Times Courier.

Domercant is a junior but declared for the draft anyway. He can still return to Eastern if he doesn't like his odds.

Expect him to return his senior year.

5/6/02
Malkovich Spreads Anarchy in the UK. A member of the British parliament was thinking of taking legal action against John Malkovich after the bitter former Eastern student said he wanted to shoot him.

Pissed-off Malko apparently didn't like Labor Party member George Galloway's take on the Israel-Palestinian conflict and said so at a Cambridge Union Society debate in April.

Malkovich is in Britain shooting a film - Johnny English - and actually said he wanted to gak both Galloway and a British newspaper's Middle East correspondent, Robert Fisk. Malkovich apparently didn't like their takes on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

6/1/02
Play Golf in Mattoon - If You Dare Could the Alumni Association pick some worse places to play golf in the state of Illinois? Robinson! What a dump! Here's the latest rundown of some upcoming alumni events.

June 28: Panther Club Golf Outing: Meadowview Golf Course in Mattoon.

July 4: Annual EIU Alumni St. Louis Cardinals Game vs. LA Dodgers. 5:10 p.m. game.

July 12: Panther Club Golf Outing: Sycamore Hills in Paris.

July 19: Panther Club Golf Outing: Edgewood Golf Course in Auburn.

July 25: Panther Club Golf Outing: Quail Creek Country Club in Robinson.

Aug. 10: Chicago White Sox vs Seattle Mariners in Chicago.

2/24/02
Scott Hall back in action Larry Smith’s personal favorite EIU alum – Scott Hall – is back in wrestling! The often boozed up wildman with the unintelligible vocab is wrestling in the A, href=wwf.com>World Wrestling Federation.

Hall is playing the character we all love – himself. He and two other wrestlers who didn’t graduate from EIU – Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan – are joining together to become the New World Order (aka. nWo). Hall recently interfered in a match and was then kidnapped by Stone Cold Steve Austin, who made fun of Hall’s alcohol problems by constantly offering him a beer.

Scott Hall recently gave an interview on the WWF Web site but didn't mention EIU.

2/24/02
More alumni shin-digs Never say Larry doesn’t hook you up when it comes to hot EIU alumni happenings. Here are the latest events, via the EIU Alumni Newsletter.

March 3: Tampa, Florida Alumni reception.

March 4: Orlando, Florida Alumni reception.

April 13: Student Government Reunion 1980-present.

April 13: EIU Alumni Association Board of Directors Quarterly Meeting.

April 27: Lambda Chi Alpha 25th Anniversary.

June: 16-24 EIU Alumni Association Alumni College Trip to Kinsale, Ireland.

July 4: Annual EIU Alumni St. Louis Cardinals Game vs. LA Dodgers.

July 27: EIU Alumni Association Board of Directors Quarterly Meeting.

August 28-Sept. 5 EIU Alumni Association Alumni College Trip to Cortona, Italy (Tuscany).

October 11-12: Homecoming 2002.

October 11: Class of 1952, 50th Class Reunion.

1/17/02
Eastern dragging its paws bringing back Billy Panther.
Old Main may turn into a water park sooner than Billy Panther will come back to campus. The lovable mascot was unceremoniously dumped when the athletic department couldn’t find a measly $1,400 to buy a new costume after the old one wore down in 1999. But a group of students raised some money and, along with the University Board, got enough dough to buy a new Billy costume.

But, proving it takes four Eastern employees to screw in a light bulb, a three-member Billy Panther Costume Committee has yet to settle on Billy’s new garb.

“"We still need to get together to decide on the design," David Kidwell Eastern’s director of sports information and marketing and host of the world-renowned “Panther Country” show, told The Daily Eastern News on Jan. 15. "It's probably not going to happen in the next week or so, but we don't have a deadline or set time. We hope to get it done as soon as possible though."

Speaking from self-imposed exile at The EIU (Unofficial) Hall of Fame headquarters, Billy Panther said: “These guys are a pack of maroons.”

To its credit, The Daily Eastern News has been all over this story. Columnist Anthony Braviere weighed in with a column, albeit an incoherent one, on Jan. 17.

Discussing the delays, Braviere said: “So, I guess we're just up excrement creek. Until someone comes up with a decent solution.”

Spoken like a future Eastern alum!

1/14/02
Is Larry Smith History at CNN-SI? My friends, Larry has a problem. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is reporting that CNN-SI is going out of business and many of the 200 staff members are going to die along with it. It seems, despite my presence, that the channel has never made any money and AOL Time-Warner is going to create a new sports channel with the help of the NBA, according to the Journal-Constitution.

In a response to an EIU Hall of Fame query about my future, Journal-Constitution reporter Matt Kemper said this: "I'm afraid I don't know what awaits him. In general, I think, lots of CNN/SI people will be out of a job. But some -- I'm told maybe up to a third -- may get jobs somewhere else at CNN. And a new NBA/AOL channel would need people, too."

Listen, I don’t want to lose my job. If I do, my place in the EIU (Unofficial) Hall of Fame is in serious jeopardy. I urge any Eastern alum who watches my God-forsaken sports show to write CNN-SI and tell them to save my job! Contact someone! Please!

1/17/02
Malkovich Wears Directors Hat John Malkovich was showing off at the Sundance Film Festival this week. That loveable former Eastern student made his directorial debut in "The Dancer Upstairs," which is about a Latin police officer trying to save his country from a revolutionary. Reviews have been mixed, but Malko was happy he took on the challenge.

"I'm a strange person, probably because I have a very intimate relationship with failure, so I'm not a big panicker,” Malko told the Hartford Courant.

1/14/02
Panther Parties Abound! Considering my job problems, perhaps you can catch me, Larry Smith, at the Journalism Department’s Homecoming North coming up in February. It’s one of many wacky alumni events coming up soon. Here is the entire schedule:

February 11: Annual San Francisco Bay Area Lincoln's Birthday Gathering.

February 15: Journalism and Student Publications’ Homecoming North, 8 to 11 p.m. Billy Goat's Tavern, Lower Wacker, Chicago. Call 217-581-7003 for more information.

February 16: Annual Scottsdale, Arizona Alumni Reception.

February 18: Seattle, Washington Alumni Reception.

March 1: Deadline for Eastern Illinois University Legacy Scholarships.

April 6: Student Government Reunion 1980-present. On campus.

April 6-7: All Greek Reunion. On campus. Call 217-581-3967 for more information.

April 26, 27, 28: Celebration: A Festival of the Arts. On campus.

May 4: Spring Commencement at EIU.

June: 16-24: EIU Alumni Association Alumni College Trip to Kinsale, Ireland.

July 4: Annual EIU Alumni St. Louis Cardinal¹s Game vs. LA Dodgers.

August 28-Sept. 5: EIU Alumni Association Alumni College Trip to Cortona, Italy (Tuscany).

October 11-12: Homecoming 2002.

October 11: Class of 1952, 50th Class Reunion. On campus.

1/10/02
Shanahan Stays in Denver. Mike Shanahan is wanted more than a member of Sigma Kappa sorority during a homecoming kegger. The Denver Broncos coach was courted, in vain, to take over the head coaching job at the University of Florida. Shanahan once coached in Florida, but has decided to stay in Denver for the near future.

1/05/02
Malkovich's direct email address? One of the John Malkovich online discussion groups claims to have Malko's direct email address. "I have been talking to him for over 6 months on this one he checks it sometimes often," said one of the group members, who clearly took a few EIU English classes.

Want to give it a shot? Email Malkovich at jmalkovich2002@yahoo.com.

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